200 North 9th Street Columbia, Mo. 65201
Services
Individual Therapy
I see a variety of clients for individual therapy including children, teens, and adults. The initial goal of therapy is to establish rapport and a trusting relationship with clients. For children this may involve a play therapy format.
Clients generally come in for an Intake session in which they provide information related to their history and background and the reasons they are seeking services at this time. When children are seen in individual therapy, I meet with parents for the intake session to provide pertinent information related to the problems the child or children may be having. It should be noted that when parents are divorced and have joint legal custody, both parents need to be informed about services and be a part of the process.
Together we will identify the goals of therapy and work together to accomplish those goals.
Family Therapy
When there are relationship problems within families it is often important to include a portion… or all members of the family to address the issues. Family therapy is based on a System’s approach in which the philosophy is each family member has a direct impact on other family members, and the whole family system is impacted by problems between its members. As with individual therapy, problem areas in the family will be addressed and goals for the family will be identified.
Co-Parenting Counseling
When Parents are no longer living together due to separation or divorce, it is common for problems to arise in the co-parenting relationships. Disagreements may include differences in parenting styles, discipline strategies, poor communication, how parenting time is divided, etc. We know that it is critical to keep children out of the middle of parental disputes. Unfortunately all too often, the parental conflict can “spill over” to the children and they find themselves in the middle between two parents they love. Co-parenting counseling can assist parents in improving their communication, minimizing their conflicts, developing problem solving strategies, as well as taking a closer look at the relationship boundaries that are vital in maintaining a good parenting relationship.
There are often two simultaneous grieving processes occurring when couples are separating or divorcing; the loss of the couple relationship, and the loss of the family. Individuals can be at two very different stages when grieving these losses and they often need help in understanding and working through these issues, as well as understanding the perspective of their counterpart.
I have worked with children for many years and have expertise in the area of child development as well as helping children through difficult transitions. These areas are often critical in the planning and decision making for how children will divide their time between two households. It is vital for the parents to work together in coming up with a parenting plan that will best meet the needs of their children. This can be extremely challenging, particularly when their are several children with varying ages and developmental stages as well as personality styles. There is no “one size fits all” parenting plan. The best plan is one that is developmentally sensitive and tailored for the specific needs of each child, while taking into account the parents schedules, work, needs, etc. Particularly when dealing with very young children, parenting plans may need to be “dynamic,” in that they change over time to accommodate the child’s ever changing developmental stages.
The best plan is also one that the parents can fully support and agree to
No parenting plan can ever be what a parent truly wants…because we know every parent wants their child with them full time. We also know that children need to have healthy loving relationships with both of their parents and it is the responsibility of the parents to make the best plan possible for their children. This can be a very challenging task for parents, and they often benefit by talking together with an unbiased person who has at the forefront the best interest of their child.
If there was ever a time to take the “high road” in life…this is it.
Mediation
Mediation offers divorcing or separating couples a fair process in which they can discuss and decide for themselves arrangements for their children, support, and property division. This process is designed to reduce the adversarial element often encountered in a divorce proceeding and can save time and money…but more importantly, the people who know their children best… can be empowered to make their own decisions about their children.
Mediation is a problem-solving conversation facilitated by a balanced and impartial third person, known as the mediator. The role of the mediator is to help participants identify issues that are important to each of them, communicate their ideas, explore options, reduce misunderstanding, clarify priorities, explore areas of compromise, negotiate differences, and if possible, come to mutually acceptable agreements.
Some clients are court-ordered into the mediation process while others come in on a voluntary basis.
There are various styles of mediation and each mediator brings to the process their own set of particular skills to assist them in this process. I was trained in the “Transformative approach” to mediation in which the focus is on the parties’ relationship and interactions. We sometimes have to address the obstacles to forging a better relationship in the parenting relationship. Often the parents did not have effective communication with one another in the couple relationship and those “old patterns” of ineffectual interactions may need to be addressed so more effective ways to talk with one another can be established.
For further information regarding Mediation, visit www.Mediate.com
COMPREHENSIVE CASE REVIEW AND CONSULTATION
In extremely complicated cases of high conflict divorce in which there have been serious allegations of child abuse, alienation behaviors, or other potentially harmful behaviors on a parent’s part, I have been asked to provide consultation on cases to assist in trying to evaluate what has really happened in these families.
When young children have made allegations of physical and/or sexual abuse and information is inconsistent or vague, the court is often left with difficult decisions regarding what is in the best interest of children.
These cases can be difficult because there is a range of possibilities or hypothesis that could be at play in these families. We know that children who make allegations in the midst of high conflict divorce fall within the same substantiation rate for abuse as other cases that do not involve high conflict. We also know that young children can be suggestible and more easily lead or influenced by adults, particularly if adults have questioned them using leading or suggestible questions. There are times when well intentioned parents can simply misunderstand what a young child has said or misinterpreted the meaning of statements made. Unfortunately, some children and teens can truly be alienated from a parent and twist or distort events that have happened, or even falsify information in an effort to meet the emotional need of a parent who aims to severe the relationship with another parent. In other cases, estrangement from a parent may look like alienation, when in fact the parent has demonstrated behaviors towards the child/ren or other parent that have distanced a child from the estranged parent. These more extreme cases are often very controversial and can have professionals at odds as to what is really going on, how the cases should be handled, or the kinds of recommendations that need to be made. It is critical for these types of cases to be adequately assessed and diagnosed so that the reality of the situation is brought to light, and in turn, the appropriate interventions, court orders, and long term goals for the family can be addressed.
This type of Case Review and Consultation involves a complete review of the case record, including court appearances and orders, consultation with the Guardian ad Litem and any mental health professionals involved with the family, school personnel, collateral contacts, etc. Forensic interviews that have been conducted with the children would also be reviewed, as well as direct interviews with the parents, children, or any other relative or significant others that might help to shed some light, on the case.
The goal would be to provide as much information to the court as possible that could help in the endeavor of making the best decisions possible for children in the midst of complicated family dynamics.